Thursday, January 27, 2005

Just once, I'd like to be able to verbalize my doubts/fears to someone (other than B., I'm so lucky in this regard.) and have them validated. I'm a very easy going, laid back type person and this may be what causes people to respond to my doubts/fears with one liner responses like: "Oh, sometimes I think we worry too much." or "Uh, it will all work out."

Yet, when they have a concern/issue, they can speak about it for several minutes/days and there I am listening. Let me have one, it receives a one line cushion of comfort and it's like, "Okay, time to move on, let's see..." I got some very bad news at work yesterday. For several months, many of us have seen major changes that we're not thrilled about.

Well, two departments (both rather large) will be closed down by the end of February. I know its domino effect is inevitable and I'm feeling really sad and upset about it. The loss of jobs for approximately 70 people is terrible - just terrible. Especially since my intuition tells me it's the beginning of the end for more departments down the road.

I don't like feeling helpless and I don't like the sentiments the impending closure is causing. Already there's talk about who's essential and posturing and jockeying for positions. There's an air of unease and suspicion, as if I need to be looking over my shoulder all of the time.

Boop exclaimed that "I better not lose my position and have to go back to an old department. I won't leave without pointing out who's non-essential." I just blurted out, "Can't you be happy that you'll still have a job? Some people won't have that choice!" I left my cube in disgust and found solace in my PDA reading your blogs.

Thanks for reading.

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